


An Unexpected Mission

by twisted_thyme



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Drama, Eventual Romance, F/M, Guilt, Jynnic - Freeform, Rating May Change, Romance?, Sexual Content, Slow Romance, Smut, Survivor Guilt, Tags May Change, Undercover Missions, possible trigger: purposeful starving- very very brief
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-11-20 03:30:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11327757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twisted_thyme/pseuds/twisted_thyme
Summary: "After all of this time, her only solace through her muddy thoughts and actions was that she had effectively avenged her father, tied up all of the loose ends to let her family join the Force in peace. She was sure that she had finally done something right, but alas that was not the case. More than angry with the mission, she was guilt-ridden to her core that she couldn’t accomplish the one thing her father asked of her—to stop Krennic and his exploitation of his work. She didn’t know whether to blame him for living or herself for letting him. She wanted to cry in frustration, at a complete loss of how to proceed.  Did she follow orders or did she follow her own desire to kill him on the spot?"An alternate ending where Jyn survives, having to deal with the death of her new and old family, and becomes the new captain of intelligence. When she is given a mission against everything she has expected, she will have to tred carefully through deception, anger, lust, and desire.





	1. The Reminder

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Jynnic fandom! I really hope you enjoy this story. It's been nagging at the back of my mind since I saw the film last year, and I am finally getting it on to AO3 after writing and health struggles that have actually given me a moment's break. Also, thank you to my wonderful beta reader from Tumblr @isharan! You have helped me so much.
> 
> ***Note: if you for some reason are in this tag and this story purely just to hate on this ship and anything related to it then please leave silently. Neither of us needs that kind of negativity in our lives and in this world right now. Thank you :)
> 
> And as always, I do not own any of the characters or content from Star Wars.

“ _You need to live Jyn. Live for the rest of us_.”

The whispered memory replays in Jyn’s mind as she darts for her grenades.

It haunts her. _He_ haunts her.

The moment is still vivid: the beating sun, the dripping sweat combining with the thick humidity, and the increasing difficulty of their trek with each bloody step.

She had tried to help Cassian to a calm spot, accepting they would die on Scarif. It was fine with her; she had avenged her father by sending off the plans and would no longer be alone now that she had Cassian by her side. In fact, it was actually quite perfect. Jyn would die at peace, something she never thought she’d be able to achieve.

However, her dream of peace faded as Cassian pushed them further inland. At first, she was oblivious to his reasoning, figuring he had a specific spot in mind, but eventually she heard the whirring of an engine, effectively waking her from her contentment. She automatically ducked down to escape oncoming fire, but Cassian remained standing, mustering all his strength to pull her back up and usher her forward.

“That’s one of ours,” he shouted, though barely audible above the engine.

Leaning in to hear him, Jyn shouted back, “They better get out of here if they expect to live.”

She merely got a nod in response.

The craft hastily landed as they approached, and before she knew it, Cassian was placing her inside.

With her popped dreams of a fulfilling death now replaced with one of a triumphant new life, Jyn hastily tried to pull him along with her into the craft, her body humming with renewed adrenaline.

 _They_ were going to survive.

“Jyn, Jyn, you have to let go.”

“What?”

Cassian looked at her with a sad smile on his face, pulling away before he shuttered in her grasp. “This is a BTL-S3, a two-seater. We won’t fit.”

Slowly, all of her dreams began to deflate before her eyes.

“I’m _not_ leaving you. If we can’t escape together, then we’ll die together. It’s that simple,” she stated in a mix of anger and desperation, dragging him back by his collar. She was fine with dying, she was fine with burning away with this Force forsaken planet, but she was not fine with losing her dream of being with Cassian.

He could see these thoughts in her eyes, his own gleaming with many of the same hopes as hers, but with one major difference. Though Jyn’s greatest dream was of meeting her end with Cassian, his was of Jyn surviving, no matter the price. The two wrestled for dominance, both emotionally and physically, with Cassian ultimately prevailing. He managed to get her back into the craft, strapped in and unable to leave.

“You have to, Jyn. Look at me; I won’t make it, but you, you can.” His tone was even, but there was a pleading look in his eyes. He had no more strength to fight her.

She was about to protest that she couldn’t live without him and the others gone when they were interrupted by the crackling sound of the planet dying.

He reached up and cupped a hand to her face. “You need to live, Jyn. Live for the rest of us.”

 _That_ memory was the reason Jyn stopped herself from detonating her grenade, despite the fact that it would have been an easy save for the mission. She couldn’t die now, no matter how much she wanted to.

Her current assassination mission on Coruscant had been successful, but she was promptly tailed and trapped in one of the million buildings by a squad of troopers. That’s why she went for the grenade; if she didn’t take out all twenty troopers in the room, she would be captured and tortured before she had a chance to die. By dying here, the Empire couldn’t use her to take down the Rebellion.

But now, revitalized with _that_ memory, she had the determination to get out alive and do whatever it took to do so. After a flurry of slashes and shots, though battered, Jyn made her way out of the building and off Coruscant.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh this chapter gets at my heart every time. I feel so bad for Jyn that she had just made a new family and loses them too. She is so strong and has gone through so much.


	2. The Mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know its probably weird that I am adding the second chapter at the same time as the first, but oh well. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy and thank you for stopping by to read!

Jyn was the Rebellion’s newest Captain of Intelligence, though she never let anyone use the title if it could be avoided. She had taken up Cassian’s post in an attempt to keep herself busy and unattached to others, now that she would specialize in secrecy and solo missions. She had put in the request as soon as she returned from Scarif, and the Rebellion needed experienced operatives, so nobody questioned her or her desire to work alone.  

It was a good post, nicer than any other job she had had before joining the Rebellion; she had private quarters, guaranteed meals, and a rank of influence that allowed her to speak her mind if needed. None of that mattered to her though. The important part of the post was that her skills were always needed on a mission, so she never had time to dwell on the past.

After returning from Coruscant, she went straight to the control center to deliver her report and receive new orders, her boots clicking on the stone as she tried not to limp.

“Jyn, you must get to an infirmary. You’re bleeding out,” was Mon Mothma’s only response upon seeing her.

“I can manage. I’ve been through worse than this.”

Mon Mothma approached her and gently put a hand to her back, leading her in the other direction. “I know you’re eager to get your new orders, but they can wait. You can’t do anything if you’re injured like this. We’ll get the report tomorrow afternoon.”

Jyn tried to protest, but knew she was right, so begrudgingly but silently she allowed herself to be led away.

\---

She only rested two days, two days too short according to the med droids but two days too long according to her. She was determined to get back into work and out of her mind as soon as possible and practically ran into the control room. She quickly gave her report and waited for new orders, staring in silence as Mon Mothma seemed to contemplate how she was going to deliver the news.

“Jyn…” she started slowly. “Are you dedicated to the Rebel Alliance and promise to do all you can to forward its mission?”

Jyn scowled. She had been asked similar questions by other officers who wondered if she was really there to stay for the cause. Of course she was willing. Mon Mothma of all people should know that.

“Yes.”

“Good, because I’m about to give you a mission you won’t like.”

Jyn silently ran through some possibilities in her mind. Considering her experience, she doubted they could throw anything at her she couldn’t handle.

“We’ve discovered that one of the Imperial officers managed to salvage records from Scarif and is working to assemble another weapon. We doubt it’s nearly as dangerous as your father’s creation, but weapons are still threats and must be stopped at all costs.”

That didn’t sound so bad. She had been on many missions to kill officers and disarm facilities. This one couldn’t be unmanageable.

“Alright. I can help.”  

“Don’t be so hasty to answer. This is not a simple mission. It could extend into the foreseeable future and lead to your death if—”

“I’ve been faced with those prospects before. I’m not afraid of dying,” Jyn shot back.

“I hope that’s true, because this mission will require you to be captured by an Imperial Officer.”

Jyn nearly jumped at that. _Captured?_ She didn't know how she would handle that. “Alright… So who’s the target I’m supposed to be captured by?” she managed to ask.

Mon Mothma gave her an unsure look, but kept her eyes focused on Jyn’s. “Director Orson Krennic.”

Jyn heard the words, but her mind just couldn’t register them. “But—he’s dead! He died on Scarif. I saw him get shot. There must be a mistake.”

“He escaped at the last moment, as you did, and managed to take some files on the way out. He is very much alive; we’ve been tailing him for a month,” Mon Mothma promised. 

Jyn was livid. _The_ Orson Krennic was still alive, and they hadn’t told her for a month, a whole month with an important secret looming over her head. “And you want _me_ to be the one to obtain this information. Surely there are others who are better suited for this task considering my personal connection.”

“I’m afraid your connection to Director Krennic is important for the mission’s success. You have the greatest chance of gaining his trust as an old family friend, or if not, the highest chance of being captured rather than slain on the spot for your actions on Scarif. And—It just has to be you.”

Jyn didn’t know if she was more upset with this new information or the fact that Mon Mothma still seemed to be holding back more. “So what do you want me to do? Just crawl on the ground and tell him I’m sorry for what I did, that I want to take back my mistakes and join the Empire?”

The idea sounded idiotic as she said it, but what was she to say? This whole plan seemed idiotic to her.   

Mon Mothma replied in a withdrawn tone, “No. I’m afraid we’ll have to use a different strategy. It can’t appear that you were purposefully taken, so you must fight him, but not kill him. We know the chance that he will actually trust you is low, so it was agreed upon that our best strategy is to use guilt and lust.”

“Lust?” she hissed. She wanted to kill the man, and the Rebellion needed her to seduce him instead? She couldn’t bear the idea. Now she understood why they picked her, she was the only female officer.   

“I don’t purely mean a lust for _pleasure_. You’re a very skilled fighter and tactician. His lust for power could convince him to try and take you on as an accomplice.”  

“I don’t believe you,” Jyn barked. “There’s more to this than a hunger for power.”  

Mon Motha sighed in defeat.

“Many of the Imperial officers are known to take on escorts from time to time, Krennic included. After his failures on Scarif, he has been without that luxury; we can use that to our advantage through you. But that’s not the only reason you’ve been chosen, Jyn. Our intel indicates that he and your father were very close in the past; it is even said that Krennic took your father under his wing at the academy. Think of the pain he must feel seeing you. You are the daughter of a past friend and partner, both the reason for his rise and fall from power. Though he is of the Empire, human connection is not to be taken lightly. And not to mention, you yourself are very skilled in combat and tech as well as the holder of many secrets—all things he will need if he intends to gain back favor of the Emperor.”

The galaxy began to crash down around Jyn.

After all of this time, her only solace through her muddy thoughts and actions was that she had effectively avenged her father, tied up all of the loose ends to let her family join the Force in peace. She was sure that she had finally done something right, but alas that was not the case. More than angry with the mission, she was guilt-ridden to her core that she couldn’t accomplish the one thing her father asked of her—to stop Krennic and his exploitation of his work. She didn’t know whether to blame him for living or herself for letting him. She wanted to cry in frustration, at a complete loss of how to proceed.  Did she follow orders or did she follow her own desire to kill him on the spot?

And then she remembered.

Her father, years ago when they were still happily hidden, had said to her:

“Stardust, I want you to know the truth. I feel terrible that we had to leave all of your lovely toys and big bedroom for this locked away farm, so I think you deserve an explanation; you’re brilliant enough to understand. You see, many years ago, when I was a young man, a child really, I was in love with science, so I went to school, studied, and did all I could to obtain as much knowledge as possible. But you see, I became so engulfed by this need for fulfillment and self-satisfaction that I let it consume me. It led me to some poor choices that unfortunately have entangled you and your mother, and I hope that you can forgive me.”

_Engulfed by a need for fulfillment and self-satisfaction. Is that what I’m becoming, Papa?_

She thought long and hard about it, spending minutes in silence with clenched fists and ground teeth, battling precariously through her mind to decide what her next choice would be.

_How do I avenge you, Papa? Do I go against orders and kill him on the spot or do I follow as I’m told?_

She eventually sat on the floor, the cold tile only making her mind swirl even faster as she mumbled to herself, praying to the Force that her father could hear.  

She wished with all of her heart that the answer she received would be the simpler option, kill Krennic and go solo again, but it seemed the galaxy enjoyed gifting Jyn with difficult alternatives. By the end of her internal duel, she came to a conclusion. She would have to follow her orders.

_If I don’t stop Krennic from using another weapon to destroy the galaxy, then my family’s sacrifices will have all been in vain._

“Fine.”

And with that, Jyn had sealed her fate.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, wow poor Jyn :( this poor woman, so strong, so amazing in the face of it all


	3. The Capture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to wait to add this new chapter, but I got too excited and well, here I am haha.  
> I am happily surprised at how kind everyone has been about this story, so thank you!

It had taken a month to prepare for Jyn’s new mission, and now they were ready. "Operation Fresia" was underway.

Everyone else in the team believed they were on a mission to free a rebel fighter being used as a slave laborer on the planet, when in reality the trip was solely for Jyn to get captured.

As they landed on Fresia, a small shiver ran down her spine. The reality of what was going to happen hit her. She was not one to be fearful, but this mission was something else. This was personal, and even though she intended to follow through with it, she still ached to do otherwise.

The soldiers had a simple strategy: set off a number of explosions while the laborers were outside then collect the supposed target. Meanwhile, Jyn was to wait for Director Krennic to come out of his ship, due to visit in 10 minutes.

She marched down the platform in a stolen uniform, shaking off thoughts of how this was reminiscent of another mission in her not so distant past.

 _None of that,_ she begged her conscience. If she was to be successful, she needed a clear head.

She and five other soldiers spread out in different directions around a compound to set their charges and prepare for the backlash. Only two minutes until Krennic would arrive. Two minutes to think about her fate.

 _I could just kill him_ , she thought, though she knew it was only a weak attempt at comfort before she was forced to resign to orders.

“We will head around the barracks to reach his assigned plot while you three go back towards the ship and clear our path. Is that right, Captain?”

Jyn was shaken from her stupor. “Yes, that sounds right, Dalix. I’ll remain here to give you further cover.”

Everyone nodded in understanding. “Director’s here,” she heard Dalix announce, but she was caught in the sound of the whirring engine, much like the one which haunted her memories.

_Damn it, Jyn. Pull yourself together. This is for them, all of them. You need to focus._

And then the charges went off.

Before she knew it, everyone in her team was running to their designated posts, and she was left alone. She took a deep breath, gently held her kyber crystal in silent prayer then ran directly towards the Imperial landing pads and away from the rebels. Her earpiece screamed with status updates and questions of her actions, but Jyn was deaf to it, focused only on what was in front of her.

Left and right she shot down troopers, fighting her way through their blockade of bodies and closer to the newly landed craft. She took a minor shot to the arm, but it didn’t slow her in the slightest, continuing expertly in her assault of the surrounding guards. She needed to make her way onto the ship.

“Captain Erso, Captain Erso, we got him! We retrieved the package! We need to regroup and leave. Where are you?”

But first, she needed to get these soldiers out of here before they got captured or killed with her.

“Good. The package is what matters. Get out of here while you still can. Leave me behind. I’m sure I’ll find a ride out.”

She knew it was all a lie, but she couldn’t tell them the truth, and she definitely couldn’t let them stay and die when they didn't need to. She heard more questions and calling that they could get her out, but she wouldn’t listen.

“That’s an order! Leave now; take the package,” she shouted, ripping out her earpiece and darting onto the ship.

 _Force help me._ She got a glimpse of white and barreled towards it forcefully. This was her chance.

The world around her turned into a mad clash of color and contrast. The black of the death troopers and the beige and metal of the cluttered land and machinery seemed to blur together. All Jyn could see clearly was the pristine white of one uniform.

As she lifted her gun to his head, she had one thought: revenge. Thoughts of the mission, the plans, and the Force faded away. She had made her decision, but this was so easy. She could end it right here. What was wrong with avenging this way? Her finger twitched above the trigger. 

“I didn’t finish you on Scarif, but I won’t make the same mistake this time,” she shrilled through gritted teeth.

“Then by all means, go ahead. Pull the trigger. I know you have it in you to do it.”

He was smiling at her. Why was he smiling? Jyn couldn’t fathom what his twisted motive might be, but she was going to wipe that grin off his face soon enough.

But before she had the chance to pull the trigger, she felt the burning sensation of a blaster shot to her already wounded shoulder. The talking was just a diversion. Krennic knew Jyn couldn't get out of her warring head. He could see her weaknesses.

She was slowly succumbing to the pain and blood loss, but before she faded, she managed to get out, “Well, you have the chance now. Go on and kill me. I know _you_ have it in you. You’d be saving yourself a whole lot of hell if you did.”

It wasn’t a lie. If Jyn lived, she was going to see that Krennic and his new weapon were destroyed eventually.

_Guess I’m sticking to the plan after all._

Her vision was beginning to cloud and her ears were ringing to her pulse, but she could hear Krennic’s snarky reply before she let herself go.

“Oh no. I think you’ll see I already live in hell. Welcome to—”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this is still a lot of setting the stage, so no sex of anything too spicy yet, but I promise we will get there eventually.


	4. The Captor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn's mission has finally begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woot woot! I'm back with a new update. I was going to do it sooner but had to leave for a week. Thank you for all of the support and love from each of you. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

“Hello there, _Jyn Erso_. I hope you had a nice rest.”

Jyn's eyes flitted open. She recognized that voice; snarky, smooth, and refined in a way that was beyond logic for a monster. Her head still pulsated with pain, and she couldn’t feel her arm, but she kept a clear mind. She was used to being threatened, even trained for this to happen.

“I did, despite your poor accommodations.” She gestured at the handcuffs and dingy interrogation chamber. There was only one light, and the chairs seemed ready to shatter at the seams.  

All Krennic did was smile as he analyzed her for a few moments.

“I’m sorry for the discomfort; we had to keep you here as we tended to your wounds, but I assure you that we’ll get you better accommodations soon.” 

“I can’t wait.”

_I wonder how uncomfortable that cell will be. If this room is any indication, it’ll be awful. I’m sure it can only get worse from here… That’s what I’m here for I suppose..._

Looking up from her shackled wrists, Jyn realized that Krennic was making his way around the table and to the door, speaking to a stormtrooper before he left. 

“Take her to her quarters. We can’t keep our _guest_ so _uncomfortable,_ ” he drawled.

She had no chance to retort as she was promptly ripped from her chair by two troopers who dragged her out the door, her head and shoulder screaming in unison.

_I can tell we’re already off to a great start._

They went down dozens of halls, all blinding with their fluorescent lights and harsh white walls. Her headache only intensified with the dizzying spectacle, making her unable to get a good look around. She was ready to punch a trooper for the rapidly growing pain in her shoulder when they suddenly stopped at a fortified door.

_Home sweet home…_

She was thrown into the room expecting to collide with another metal wall or steel bed tray, but was only met with more open space... and carpet?

Looking around in genuine confusion, she realized that she was not in a common cell. It was spacious to say the least. The walls were as far apart as eight banthas and were painted in a calm charcoal color, sharply contrasting the sharp white from outside. Against one wall was a bed wider than she was tall, and a door opposite lead to the connected washroom, presumably just as luxurious.

_He truly caught me off guard here. He won’t ensnare me though. What does he think luxuries are to me?_

Determined to fight against whatever plan Krennic had for her, Jyn simply sat against a wall and rested her eyes as she considered her next actions.

\---

“Sir, what do we do with the rebel now?”

Pulled from his musings, Krennic smirked at the officer. “Watch her unravel.”

“Sir?”

Rolling his eyes, Krennic explained his plan in a way a “simpleton” trooper could understand.

“This woman is set on destroying me. We’re going to keep her out of control and on her toes by continually surprising her until she breaks on her own accord. She has been such a selfish little rebel that I bet it won’t be long before she’s compliant.”

“I see… I will leave you to your observations then, sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, here we go. Jyn and Krennic are finally starting to interact. I wonder what will happen next...


	5. The Rebel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn will do anything to show her resistance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness me, I need to slow it down and spread out my updates more. I just struggle so much because I get so excited and want to share these chapters with you guys. 
> 
> Still no sex, so I am sorry for that, but I am still working on the build up and may possibly... be... you know... intimidated... by writing smut... perhaps... *nervous laughing* 
> 
> **Note: its in the tags, but I want to point out that there is a brief period where Jyn goes on a hunger strike. I want you to know in case this may be triggering for you.
> 
> Oh and I don't know if you care or would appreciate it, but I may also be starting another Jynnic piece because I feel like this ship needs a lot more fanfiction.

“Well, what a nice meal. Too bad I’m not hungry,” Jyn said into the open space as the food tray came through the slot.

The meal, like the room, was nicer than Jyn had expected. It was _real_ bread and _real_ fruit. She couldn’t even remember the last time she had either of those.

 _I see what you’re playing at, Krennic, but I’m not so easy to sway. I can play games too_.  

As soon as she had been captured and reintroduced to Krennic, all thoughts of the plan were tainted with a new burst of hatred. She didn’t care about earning his trust or getting close to him, she just wanted revenge. And it started with simple rebellion.

It had been five days, and she hadn’t eaten or bathed once. She wanted Krennic to know that all of these luxuries meant nothing to her. Her dirty clothing and resting spot on the floor were perfectly fine for her.

She spent most of her time resting against her wall or pacing the room in thought. She refused to do anything that wasn’t necessary, so she only quenched her thirst but never ate, used the fresher but never showered. From years of experience, she knew that a person’s ability to survive actually required very little except for determination. And boy did she have that—with a need for vengeance like hers, she felt unstoppable. Though quite frequently, she felt a twinge of guilt at twisting the mission Mon Mothma gave her. She groaned at the thought.   

It was peculiar, no one came into the cell. All meals were sent in through the slot and not a single guard had come in to interrogate her or push her into eating her food, even though she knew they could see everything through security cameras. Again, she found herself wondering why. Did he need her alive for something or was he waiting for her to go mad and starve herself out? Something wasn’t adding up.

Pushing the tray aside, she returned to pacing, hoping to put some of the pieces together.

_He gives me all of the luxuries he knows I’ve never had: fruit, bread, my own fresher, but he doesn’t insist I use them… It seems odd that he hasn’t come in to challenge me even once, not a guard either…_

She reached up to grab her crystal as it always seemed to clear her mind, instantly reminded of her healing injury as it jolted another string of pain through her body. It hurt, but it was only a moment before she continued her musings. She had taken at least thirty blaster shots in her life after all.

 _He hasn’t even threatened me with anything, no torture, no attacks, nothing. He just… smiles_. _What kind of kriffing person is he? Perhaps he has no motive. He did fall so far behind on Scarif that_ —

She stopped cold in her tracks. That was enough thinking for today. It seemed that no matter where her thoughts started, that was always where they ended, in _that_ memory. She was constantly dragged back to that beach, back to the whirring engine, and back to the look in Cassian’s eye as he did what she was supposed to—die. It wasn’t fair. She felt guilty, burdened, but most of all she felt utterly alone—something she hadn’t felt before. For a brief time she had a family again: her father, new friends, Cassian. And all at once it was taken away from her.

_Why did you all have to leave me?_

She kicked her tray, letting its contents tumble away and spill into the carpet. It was mesmerizing the way the water pooled around the shattered glass then disappeared without a trace, exactly what she wished to do at the moment. Meanwhile, the fruit rolled away with a muted thud as the meat on her plate stayed fastened to the floor.

Feeling a little better from her outburst, she simply resumed her pacing, unwilling to show signs of caving.

\---

One week and four days yet there was still no sign of her captors. Jyn waited on the floor against her wall as she expected the next meal to come. She still hadn’t eaten, and her energy dissipated dramatically as the days went by. She had to give up on pacing, only getting up when absolutely necessary. She was on the edge of sleep when the customary beeping of her food finally rang. Her body begged her to crawl instead of walk to the door, but nonetheless she rose from her seat and grabbed the offering from its slot. As she walked back, her heart nearly stopped. The smell and sight of food was intoxicating by this point. Nearly collapsing, she returned to her wall.

As soon as she was down, her body began to cry out. There was so much food at her fingertips yet she deprived herself of it.

 _I don’t need it. I_ — _I don’t need food yet. Mon Mothma said I was supposed to play the unwilling captive, and that’s what I’m doing._ But her body didn’t listen; it merely longed to survive, and there was only so much a person could do against themselves.

Seemingly against her will, her left arm extended towards the tray and grabbed a perfectly ripened pta fruit. As it drew closer to her mouth, her other arm shot up to her crystal. _Please forgive me, Papa. I am weak. I have been trying to be strong, but I can’t hold on anymore._ The crisp fruit made contact with her chapped and torn lips, her body shaking with success while her mind wept with frustration. She was finally breaking.

 _WAIT!_ _This is exactly what he wants._ This _is his motive._

Jyn threw the fruit across the room, trying to distance herself as much as possible from the temptation.

_It all makes sense now. He doesn’t have to force me to do anything because I will eventually do it myself. He wants me to choose his options, make me the villain in my own duels. That way I’m all the more broken, and he isn’t the enemy._

She was proud of her discovery, but upset that she had severely underestimated this man. Clearly he wasn’t the simpleton she thought he was.

_I can’t hold out for much longer if I want to stay alive and able to fight back… I just need one more day to come up with a plan of how to proceed._

Throwing her full tray across the room, Jyn got up and started pacing again.

\---

“Damn it!” He growled through gritted teeth, his voice low with frustration.

He had been patient. He gave her nearly two weeks to make the easy choice, yet she resisted. What did she want to do, die? He couldn’t believe her resistance.

“You know, you’re a lot stronger than I gave you credit for, Miss Erso,” he said to the screen, fixated on her wandering image. “I do hope that you break soon or else you, with your weak physique, won’t be as useful to me.” His smile returned.

 _Patience, Krennic. Soon enough she will turn around, no need to lose your composure. The human mind is only so strong before it submits to the needs of the body._  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooo intense and maybe suggestive Krennic, woot. And driven by revenge with extreme strength Jyn.
> 
> I don't know your opinions on the week and four day food strike. I searched and discovered that apparently you can go three weeks without food (she had water), so I tried to make it a long time but not a long enough time that her entire body would have wilted away. I figured that she as an individual who has had to survive on her own and has probably been without many times could handle the strain longer than some may be able to. So that's my reasoning for that length of time. 
> 
> Anyways... I hope you enjoyed this new addition and will stick around for the next chapter :D


	6. The Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn dreams and Krennic beams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been away for a while but am happy to update :D I haven't had as much time to write with some ongoing health issues, so luckily I had this chapter finished over a month ago. I hope you like it!

Her legs are shaking, her forehead is sweating, and her knuckles are bleeding. It’s a wonder she manages to stay planted on her feet as the humid air grows thick enough to choke her. 

She immediately knows where she is. 

_ Not again _ , she cries, the world coming to life around her. It was as if it became more realistic each time she dreamt it. The distant rustle of palm trees, the individual groans and cries of falling men, and the agonizingly heavy burden she feels around her aching shoulders are clear as a shard of glass. 

_ Cassian!  _ She attempts to scream to the man beside her but is only able to bellow within her mind. Nearly every night she became a victim in her own dream, compelled to watch the horrid day her life seemed to- should have- ended.  

She stares at him, her restrained emotions shown within his beautiful, calm eyes.  _ It wasn’t fair _ . He was at ease, undaunted and confident in the fact that he had accomplished his goals and could finally die in peace. She was envious. 

As they heard the blare of a nearby explosion, their eyes inevitably drew away, and their blood-soaked boots urged them forward. 

_ I have to stop this. I can still save him, _ she frantically thought, focusing all of her might to moving them in a different direction, away from the craft she knew would soon arrive. But as with every night, it was no use.  _ Damn it! Move! _

She heard the blasted whirring of the engine, her body instinctively kneeling to the ground only to be quickly jerked back to standing; it was like clockwork. 

Though she had experienced the dream ever since that nightmare of a day, Jyn still wept in her mind, unable to control the hurt that washed over her like the waves newly passed on their journey inland. Each night she was forced to deal with the ever-consuming guilt. She wasn’t able to save her family, she wasn’t even able to die with them, she was just left in this hell of a life seemingly for the sole intent of perpetual torture as her greatest failure played before her. She begged the Force for mercy.

_ Why can’t we both die?! Let me save you, Cassian. Please, I beg you to hear me! Let me fix this _ . By now, the pair had battled it out, with Jyn ultimately back in the seatbelt, hands immovable with ache. Why couldn’t she stay? Why was it so? 

“Because the past is immovable, Jyn. This is how it must be.” Jyn’s eyes darted upward, mouth gaping at the man before her, his eyes kind but resolute. This had never happened before. They  _ never _ went off-script. 

She was stunned into silence, a lump forming in the back of her throat as she tried to summon a coherent thought.  _ Stars, was this real? _

_ Di- _ “Did you just speak to me?” a salty tear collided with her sweat and dripped down her dirtied face as her thoughts tumbled into the open air. It was all she could do not to gasp. 

Cassian gave a knowing smile. “Jyn, you have to live. Live for the rest of u-” 

“NO! What does that mean? Why can’t I stay behind with you?” 

There’s a wary pull on his lips as he puts a hand on her quivering arm. “Because Jyn, the future holds so much for you. You have to move forward to reach it, not back.” 

Jyn’s throat feels like it is going to choke her to death, the pains of withholding tears too much for her to handle. “H-How?” 

“Live, Jyn. Live for the rest of us.” 

The ship’s compartment closes and before she can stop it, the planet fades from view, Cassian gone in the chaos of explosion. 

\---

Her legs are shaking, her forehead is sweating, and her knuckles are bleeding. It’s all she can do to repress a scream. She’s back in her cell, up against her wall, trying to regain stability as the real world spins back into existence. Jyn shakes the remnants of sleep from her mind and moves to examine her raw knuckles. When enveloped by the dream, she had taken up the unconscious habit of punching the carpet or wall- something she only learned as she repeatedly woke to bloodied clothes and sticky hair tendrils. She hated that it clearly gave away that she had nightmares but was more upset that she couldn’t use that aggression on someone else. 

She needed to look confident. This was the day she was finally going to eat- give her captor some semblance of victory over her. She couldn’t let it seem like a result of fear. 

A chill ran down her spine. He  _ talked _ to her; her dream was different. She was still in shock over that fact. And he didn’t just talk to her, he knew exactly what she was thinking. 

_ The future holds so much for you. You have to move forward to reach it…  _ not back _. _

Jyn wasn’t sure she wanted to know what that meant.

\---

Krennic hated meetings, especially meetings where people sought only to disparage him. 

“All I’m saying, Director Krennic, is that we need to know if this weapon will be a repeat of your last disaster. The Emperor does not deal credits liberally.” 

Krennic rolled his eyes. “As I recall, General, Grand Moff Tarkin was in control of the Death Star when it was destroyed. He even went so far as to claim it as his responsibility before the craft was finished.” They were always as quick to blame him as they were to steal from him. 

“Yes, but- That does not change the fact that you allowed a Rebel sympathizer to sabotage the weapon and then let the plans slip through your fingers.

Always his responsibility but never his achievement. What a load of moof shit. “Again, Tarkin is still the one we must credit. I was occupied with the duty to save and transport as many Imperial files as possibles while the planet killer was in the hands of the  _ esteemed _ Grand Moff by that point. If our saboteur was that easy to unmask then surely he should have known that Scarif needed higher security or simply an earlier hit from the weapon.” He smiled in an attempt to seem sincere, but his fists still clenched at the memory of purposefully being left for dead on that Force forsaken planet. 

“ _ I _ ,” he annunciated, “on the other hand can assure you that I will let no such things happen. This is a weapon used very effectively during the times of the Clone Wars, improved to suit the Empire’s needs. No one will see it coming.” Now he genuinely smiled. He knew the Empire could never turn down the opportunity to claim more power. 

There was a brief silence before the general finally spoke up. “Very well then, Director,” he sighed. “You may proceed with your progress. But, do not take this new chance for granted. One can only make so many mistakes before they become a nuisance.”

“Of course. Thank the Emperor for this opportunity. He will not be disappointed.” The general nodded before silently walking out the door. A young officer quickly entered as Krennic readied to leave. 

“Director, I have news of the prisoner.” Krennic couldn’t contain a smirk, his joy overflowing with an update. He knew he would get the project funds, but this was a genuine and very pleasant surprise. 

“Yes, Lieutenant?” 

“She’s finally eaten, sir. Asked for her morning meal and finished the entire thing.” 

If he didn’t have his emotions so thoroughly bridled, Krennic would have leapt out of his seat. So the little rebel was finally submitting to him.  _ Oh the frailty of flesh.  _

“Well, I suppose I better have a look.” 

_ What a virtue patience is _ . 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More buildup, but I swear we are starting to get this train moving, folks! Oh the struggles of slow burn sometimes... We got to see some more of Krennic though which is nice, in my book :D 
> 
> Again, I find myself saying "poor Jyn" which I seem to do a lot, but this poor woman puts up with so much shit, and its tragic.


End file.
